


The Undiscover'd Country

by WillietheOctopus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: EriSol - Freeform, M/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-09
Updated: 2012-12-09
Packaged: 2017-11-20 16:56:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/587642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillietheOctopus/pseuds/WillietheOctopus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was a fic that I wrote in the askbox of tumblr user the-dolorosa and decided to put together and post it here.</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Undiscover'd Country

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fic that I wrote in the askbox of tumblr user the-dolorosa and decided to put together and post it here.

                Eridan groaned as he opened his eyes, momentarily blinded by the fluorescent lights in the room. He tried to think of where he was, racking his mind of every memory he could think of. No matter how he tried, he couldn't think if where he was or how he has gotten there. He shifted a bit to try and sit up to look around at his surroundings, but immediately regretted doing so: a sharp pain shot through his lower torso. He immediately brought his hands to the site of the pain and brushed his fingers by what felt like a strange fabric. He looked down and saw a hospital gown. Eridan's confusion quickly transformed into panic as he realized he was in a hospital but he had no idea for what.  
                "Ah, Mr. Ampora! I see you have woken up," an unfamiliar voice said as the owner of the voice walked through the door. He was an older man, a few gray streaks in his dark brown hair and his wrinkles being light but still visible.   
                "What the hell am I doin' here?" Eridan asked, not bothering to be cordial at all.   
                "Your car swerved off a bridge and into the water beneath. You had a few minor scrapes and bruises from the accident, save-"   
                "If everythin' is minor, then why am I here an' why does my stomach hurt like no fuckin' other?" Eridan demanded, being sure to keep his volume down.  
                "As I was saying, there was a major injury to your midsection. It was a very deep gash, mostly straight across which the stomach area. You lost a lot of blood and had to get stitches. Thankfully you were found in time so that we were able to get you into surgery."   
                "How long have I been out?" Eridan asked faintly.   
                "A day. You just got out of surgery yesterd-"   
                "When can I get out?"  
                "We want you to stay here for a few more days and then you can go home," the doctor said before walking out of the room. Eridan huffed and crossed his arms, muttering about it being total bushit, before he was distracted by the sound of someone snickering on the other side of the curtain by his bed.   
                "Hello?" he asked, attempting to peer through the curtain or around the curtain, but ultimately failing to do so, his injury hurting him every time he tried.   
                “Who’s there?” Eridan asked after there was no response to his first question  
                “Doesn’t matter who I am, what matters is how much it sucks to be you,” the other voice responded, obviously poking at Eridan, who wrinkled his nose in response, not thrilled to have to put up with whomever was on the other side of the curtain along with the pain he was feeling all over his body.  
                “An’ why exactly is that?” the brunette responded, crossing his arms.  
                “Because not only are you stuck in this hell hole a while longer, probably so they can just suck more money out of you, but you also got put in here in the shittiest way. A car wreck? _Seriously_?”  
                “What do you mean? What’s wrong with bein’ in a car wreck?”  
                "Oh, silly me. You're right. Car crashes are great. Just fucking swell. I recommend that everyone gets in a car crash. You get a car crash. You get a car crash. You don't a car crash. Just kidding, asshole! Look under your chair because it’s a fucking car crash!" the other called out.   
                "That's not what I meant. You an' me both know that," Eridan said, trying to defend his previously spoken words.   
                "Whatever. I was just trying to cheer your sad ass up," the other said.  
                "Oh. Thank for tryin', even if you did fail miserably. So what are you in here for?" Eridan asked, staring up at the ceiling since he couldn't see his conversational partner. He wasn't too fond of small talk, but he didn't really have much of a choice since he was stuck in there for a little bit longer.  
                "I just got out of surgery. Just like you, genius."   
                "Then what the hell out you in surgery?"   
                "None of your damned business," the other yelled angrily. Eridan was about to say something when he was interrupted by a nurse running in, apparently alarmed by the others yelling.   
                "Mr. Captor! Please calm down," the nurse begged, hurrying over to the bedside of the other.   
                "I'm fine. Just tell nosy over there to mind his own business," Captor said, his lisp, which he must have been hiding beforehand, revealing itself.   
                "I will be sure he knows to," the nurse said meekly, scurrying out if the room, giving Eridan a quick nod whilst doing so.   
                "Sorry for whatever I did wrong," Eridan mumbled after a few seconds of awkward silence, although he knew what it was that he had done to upset Captor.   
                "It's whatever," he said, his lisp going back into submission.

                The rest of the night was spent in silence as the other was probably still upset with Eridan and Eridan was trying to remember how his crash happened. He only succeeded in remembering that he was driving across a bridge with an old building in the distance. Once he finally was able to sleep,the quality of it was very poor, filled with flashes of the crash and being stuck in the water. He woke up with a gasp as if he couldn't breathe, sitting up in his bed and staring at the wall in front of him with wide eyes.   
                "It's about time you woke up," Captor said, sounding as if he was rather annoyed with Eridan and his nightmares.   
                "Have I been like that all night?" Eridan asked, putting a hand on his chest, waiting for his racing heart to go back to a normal pace.  
                "If you mean whining and groaning and disrupting everyone's asleep, then yes. All. Fucking. Night." Eridan muttered an apology and turned onto his side, closing his eyes, trying to think of something else, hoping that would alter his dreams.   
                "What were they about?" the other asked after a few seconds.  
                "Excuse me?" Eridan asked, opening his eyes and craning his neck a bit.   
                "About what were your nightmares?"   
                "Why do you care, Captor?"  
                "Consider it a change of heart and my name is Thol- Sollux," he said, correcting himself as he spoke, obviously trying to get over the habit of saying his name with a lisp.   
                "That explains jack shit to me," Eridan said, turning onto his back and crossing his arms.   
                "I'm giving you a second chance, alright? Take it or leave it. You only get two chances with me," Sollux said.   
                "Fine. Whatever floats your wishy-washy fuckin' boat. They were about my crash," Eridan said, finally conceding.  
                "Was it that bad?" Sollux asked, sounding more intrigued.   
                "It wasn't somethin' I'd want to again, but the main thing was that I can't remember all a' it. I just know there's somethin' important that I'm forgettin'," Eridan said, staring up at the ceiling.   
                "That sucks, but hey, at least you got a cool battle scar out of it. Chicks dig those, or so I've heard," Sollux said, obviously attempting to make Eridan feel better.  
                "And if you don't roll that way, I'm sure guys dig them, too," Sollux said after Eridan didn't respond.   
                "I guess," Eridan mumbled after a bit. Eridan closed his eyes and attempted to go back to sleep, although it was to no avail.   
                "I can't sleep," he announced after about a minute.   
                "What do you want me to do about it? Sing you a lullaby? Come over there and pat your head until you fall asleep?" Sollux asked, sounding as if he was almost asleep when Eridan had spoken.  
                "No, I just-" Eridan was cut off by a stuffed animal flying over the curtain and landing by Eridan's feet. With some trouble due to his injury restricting how much he could fully sit up without being in pain, Eridan grabbed the stuffed animal. From what he could see, it was a bee that was pretty old and coming apart at the seams. He ran his fingers along the bee and could tell that it had been repaired and sewn together many times.   
                "What's this?" Eridan asked, looking the bee over.  
                "What the hell do you think it is? A fucking Ood? It's a stuffed bee. I sleep with it whenever I get nightmares. Maybe it will help with yours. Even if you think it's stupid, just try it, okay?" Sollux said, sounding vulnerable as if he had shared knowledge that not everyone was privileged to know.   
                "Thanks, I guess," Eridan mumbled, hugging the bee close to him. He had to admit that it had a certain element of comfort to it that made Eridan feel better, enough that he was able to fall asleep again.

                Eridan woke the next morning to his shoulder being lightly shaken. The bee from Sollux was tightly clutched in his arms and remained so as he turned to face who had woke him up.  
                "Good morning, Mr. Ampora. I'm here to take you to the shower," a nurse said.   
                "You aren't goin' to be washin' me are you?" Eridan asked, looking the nurse over. She wasn't unattractive, but Eridan would rather wash himself.   
                "No, but you are going to have to be careful with your incision," the nurse warned. A bit unwillingly, Eridan put the stuffed bee down and followed the nurse. She led him to a small bathroom with a walk in shower and then proceeded to give him instruction on how to clean the cut on his stomach. Eridan nodded, only partially paying attention. Once the nurse was gone, Eridan hurriedly disrobed himself, finally getting a glimpse at the ghastly injury. It seemed to be healing, but rather slowly. He could barely see the stitches that the doctor had mentioned, but running his fingers along the incision allowed Eridan to feel where each stitch was. He started the water and stepped inside, letting his brunette hair matted down with sweat be rinsed and fall back. He took the moments of solitude to once again think about the wreck. He went back to while he was driving. It was in his normal car. He was driving across the bridge and then his attention was grabbed by a building that was pointed out to him by someone in the passenger's seat of the car. That's when it hit him, the part of everything that he had been forgetting: the other person in the car. He had been driving with Feferi and she pointed out the carved angels on the old building, distracting him and leading him to drive off of the bridge. Eridan ran out of the shower and the bathroom, not bothering to grab his clothes or his glasses or even a towel. He ran down the hall, searching for one of the nurses or the doctor that he had seen when he woke up the previous morning.   
                "Mr. Ampora!" the nurse from earlier called out.                
                "Where's Fef?" Eridan demanded, grabbing the nurse by the shoulder, staring into her eyes.   
                "Let go of her," the doctor said, running up to Eridan and prying him away from the bewildered woman.  
                "Where the fuck is Fef?" Eridan asked, turning toward the doctor, eyes wild with worry and anger.   
                "Mr. Ampora, who is Fef?" the doctor asked calmly, placing a hand on Eridan's shoulder in an attempt to calm him down.   
                "The other person in my car! The only person who's life fuckin' mattered here!" Eridan screamed at the doctor. The doctor didn't flinch, although he did step back and drop his hand from Eridan's shoulder, a look of realization washing over the aged man's face.   
                "She died."  
                "No. You're lyin'. You have to be fuckin' lyin'! What room is she in? She can't be fuckin' dead!" Eridan cried out, crumpling to the ground, his entire body shaking with sobs. The doctor held Eridan by the shoulders and led him back to the room. Eridan looked toward the ground, now very much aware that he had forgotten clothes.   
                "That was a long shower," Sollux mused as Eridan entered the room, "Where the hell are your clothes? Did you suddenly forget how to get dressed?" Eridan ignored every comment that Sollux made, too consumed with the news of Feferi's death to care. The doctor sent a nurse to go retrieve Eridan's clothes and glasses as he led Eridan to his bed and then went to the other side of the curtain, beginning to explain to Sollux what had just happened. Eridan curled up on his side, tears streaming down his cheeks, the occasional mangled sob coming from his throat. He heard the door open and shut, but he didn't bother to look. What had finally got Eridan to open his eyes was a hand on his shoulder. He looked up through tear filled eyes at a tall and slender male who looked to be about Eridan's age. He had two different coloured eyes and dark shaggy hair along with teeth that desperately needed braces.   
                "I'm sorry to hear about your friend," Sollux mumbled weakly, keeping his hand on Eridan's shoulder.   
                "I killed her. I killed Fef," Eridan cried.   
                "Alright. Scoot the fuck over," Sollux instructed. Eridan stared up at Sollux in confusion, not sure what he was wanting.   
                "I said scoot the fuck over," Sollux said, motioning for Eridan to move over. Eridan finally did as Sollux asked, scooting over so that he was on just one side of the small bed. The bed shook a bit as Sollux climbed on and laid down next to Eridan. He moved close and put one arm around him.   
                "Sol, what the hell are you doin'?" Eridan asked, trying to turn and face Sollux, but quickly getting shushed by Sollux.  
                "It's called comforting, dumb-ass," Sollux said as if it was obvious. Eridan grumbled and settled down a bit, letting the feeling of someone else holding calm him down. Eridan eventually regulated his breathing and stopped crying and even let a small smile dance across his lips.   
                "You better now?" Sollux asked, getting a nod from Eridan in response.   
                "Great. Then could you please put some clothes on?" Eridan blushed, having almost forgotten that he had chosen not to get dressed again.  
                "Fuck. Where the hell are my clothes?" Eridan asked, trying to move away from Sollux's grip and cover himself.   
                "The nurse came in a bit ago and set them down. I guess seeing a naked guy who is crying like a baby isn't exactly something you want to interrupt," Sollux mused, letting go of Eridan and pointing toward where the folded clothes were. Eridan carefully sat up, being wary of his wound as well as how much of him was being exposed to Sollux.   
                "Nice ass," Sollux said, still lying on Eridan's bed.  
                "Fuck you," Eridan hissed, covering his rear with his hands as he grabbed the clothes.   
                "Well, the beds already here and you're already undressed, so sounds like a plan," the taller boy said with a smirk. Eridan flipped Sollux off as he attempted to put his boxers without hurting himself, but he was greeted with a sharp pain that he couldn't handle every time he tried to bend down to do so.   
                "Jesus. You really are helpless," Sollux said with a sigh as he got out of the bed. Sollux shuffled over to Eridan and pulled up the boxers for him. Eridan's face was a warm with a blush as he looked away, his pride suffering a blow since he couldn't even dress himself.   
                "C'mon. Come sit down," Sollux said grabbing Eridan's hand and leading him over to the bed.   
                "Your hair looks like shit," Sollux mumbled once they were both sitting on the bed. He began combing his fingers through Eridan's damp hair.   
                "You sure know how to make someone feel great."

                The rest of the night was spent with Eridan in Sollux's arms, occasionally being consoled when depression of losing his friend creeped back. Once it came time to sleep, Sollux tried to pry Eridan from his arms, although that was a fruitless effort.   
                "Just sleep with the damn bee again," Sollux said, still attempting to get away from Eridan.   
                "C'mon, I'm like all bones. I seriously can't be that comfy," Sollux said when he couldn't get Eridan off of him.   
                "Shut the fuck up," Eridan grumbled.  
                "Do you honestly expect to stay here the entire night?" Sollux asked, arching a thin eyebrow at Eridan.   
                "Does it look like I plan on movin' or lettin' you move?" Eridan asked, tightening his grip on Sollux.   
                "I should have figured. Whatever. Just go to sleep, you ass," the taller boy said in a defeated tone. Eridan smiled smugly at winning the small debate that the two had just had as he closed his eyes to go to sleep.

                They spent about a week like this, bantering or simply chatting about things, Eridan usually sleeping with the stuffed bee or Sollux, and both of them declaring that they hated each other or calling the other horrendous names, but also smiling and laughing more than they could remember. The day before Eridan’s release, he was reminded that he was in fact going to be able to leave soon, something about which he had almost forgotten. Eridan was ecstatic to get out of there, but the thought of leaving Sollux behind was bittersweet, and it seemed that Sollux felt the same way, although while Eridan showed his emotions through sulking on his bed, Sollux chose insults and yelling.   
                "This isn't fair that you get to leave. What's so fucking great about you that you get to leave?" Sollux demanded, pacing the room. Eridan stayed quiet and looked away from Sollux, not wanting to deal with such confrontation.  
                "I can't I ever let myself...," Sollux started, the rest of his words mumbled. This grabbed the brunette's attention, leading to him turning and looking at the other male in the room.   
                "Let yourself what?" Eridan asked, cocking an eyebrow.   
                "It doesn't matter what it was! You're leaving!" Sollux screamed, his lisp once again escaping.   
                "Just tell me what it was," Eridan growled, raising his volume slightly as he gripped the bed, trying to keep his anger down. Sollux sat down on the bed next to Eridan, looking down sheepishly at his feet, his mood seeming to have calmed down quickly.   
                "I thought that... that maybe we could be friends. Well, to be honest, more than friends. It was a stupid, I know and to be honest I don't care. It never even crossed my mind that you'd heal and leave me here," he said quietly. Eridan didn't really know what to say or how to respond, so he did what felt right at the moment: he kissed Sollux. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but it wasn't one lacking emotion, although neither boy could place what emotion it was. Sollux was the one who pulled back first, scowling at Eridan.   
                "I don't need any of your damn sympathy kisses," he hissed at Eridan, scooting away.   
                "That wasn't a fuckin' sympathy kiss an' you ought to be honored that I gave you one in the first place," Eridan retorted, crossing his arms at the injustice, as he saw it, that he had just been served.  
                "Don't get your panties in a wad," Sollux grumbled.   
                "Says the one who's poutin' because I'm leavin'," Eridan said, scooting a bit closer to Sollux. Sollux looked over at Eridan and then quickly looked away.   
                "Alright, I have a proposition for you: what if we were more than just friends?" Eridan asked after a bit of silence, trying to get a glance at Sollux's face.   
                "It's stupid and wouldn't work," Sollux said simply, looking at Eridan out of the corner of his eye.   
                "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?" Eridan rubbed his temple, now completely frustrated with the fickle male next to him.   
                "Make up your mind on what you want," Eridan said before his chin was tugged so that his face was facing Sollux's before Sollux claimed Eridan's lips as his own. Eridan's heart raced and breathing grew shallow as he eyes fluttered shut. At first he wasn't sure where to put his hands, but he finally lifted them so that they were on Sollux's sides, holding him as close as the brunette possibly could. As much as he hated to and wanted to keep the kiss going on as long as he could, Eridan parted his lips from Sollux's, getting a groan of discontent in response.   
                "So, what are we?" Eridan asked very quietly, almost terrified of being rejected as he had many times before, that being one of the main reasons it stuck to just simple harmless flirting.   
                "I don't know. Whatever the fuck we want to be," Sollux announced.   
                "That's the opposite a' helpful," Eridan said with a flat expression.  
                "What do you want? Me to carry you away on a white stallion as my hair flows in the breeze and I confess my love to you?" Sollux asked, still not bothering to try and cover his lisp.   
                "Well, that is always an option," Eridan muttered, mostly joking, although it still earned him a punch to the arm.   
                "Fine. I guess we can be dating or whatever if that floats your damned boat," Sollux grumbled, gaining a slight smile and a kiss on the cheek from Eridan.   
                "Pain in the ass," Sollux added.

                The day after Eridan was released, he came back to visit Sollux, of course after going and getting a rental car until he could go get a new one, spending practically all day with him since Eridan was not allowed back to work, his boss not wanting to risk Eridan getting hurt further thus giving him another week off. Eridan almost had a routine of when he would come in and when he would leave, the nurses not able to forget who he was due to him constantly being there. His schedule, however, was thrown off on the day before Eridan was to return to work. Eridan walked in to see that Sollux was nowhere in the room and for a moment he was as happy as could be, assuming automatically that Sollux had been released.   
                "Where is he? Where's Sol?" Eridan asked enthusiastically to the doctor that had treated Eridan earlier.   
                "He's in surgery. We're doing our best to keep him alive, but we don't know how well it's going to work out," the doctor said solemnly. Eridan's face fell as a wave a panic washed over him, unsure what to think or say.  
                "I know you two were close and I hope that you are alright," the doctor said before attempting to walk off, although he was pulled back by Eridan.   
                "What the hell is he in surgery for?" Eridan demanded.   
                "He never told you why he was admitted into the hospital, did he?" Eridan shook his head in response, staring at the doctor with eyes full of anger and hurt.  
                "He was here because of organ failure, currently just two, although more were sure to come if left untreated. His body is just simply rejected his own organs along with every transplant we give him," the doctor said, looking down at the ground. Eridan blinked away tears, trying not to let it get to him.   
                "Then give him mine! Give him my organs! I don't even fuckin' care. I lost Fef. I cannot lose Sol, too," Eridan pleaded, grabbing the doctor's hands, his voice full of desperation.  
                "Mr. Ampora, the organs he needs you will die without. And even still, we don't even know if you are a match for him and his blood type and many other tests to run."  
                "Then run them! Run the tests! Get things figured out! Do your fuckin' job!" Eridan yelled as he slammed his hands on the doctor's chest much like a child beats its hands on its mother's chest when it doesn't want to go to sleep.   
                "There's not enough time. All we can do is hope for that this surgery will be a success." As if on cue, a nurse walked in, looking sullen and as if she bore news that could start a world war.   
                "H-he didn't make it. He did have one thing that he said before he went, though. He said, and I quote, 'ED's an ass, but he's my ass. Tell him that for me, will you?'." Eridan didn't even bother holding back tears, letting them flow as he once again fell to the floor and sobbed loudly. He curled into a ball on the floor, flinching away from the touch of the nurse and doctor.  
                "Mr. Ampora, have hope that you'll find someone like Mr. Capt-" the doctor started before he was interrupted by Eridan, who turned and looked at him with a cynical look, tear stains on his cheek, eyes puffy and red from crying.   
                "Don't tell me to have hope. There's no fuckin' point in hope! I'm done with this. I'm done with hope. I'm fuckin' done with life," Eridan shouted, pulling himself up off of the floor.  
                "Perhaps we should call the psych. This sounds like a suicide threat," the nurse said quietly, atempting to say it at a volume that Eridan couldn’t hear. The doctor shook his head and shooed her away. Eridan took deep and heavy breaths, the occasional tear still running down his cheek. "Mr. Ampora, I know you're upset, but listen to me: life is not worth giving up on. You cannot think that way, alright?" he said calmly, moving a little bit toward Eridan, who backed away slowly, watching the doctor with wide eyes.  
                “You’re right,” Eridan said, looking up at the doctor, his eyes focused and his facial expression looking like the one of a man who had just discovered the answer to an impossible problem.  
                “Excellent. Do you need anyone to hail you a taxi or will you be alright to drive?” the doctor asked, holding a hand out to help Eridan up, which the brunette took quickly.   
                “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be alright,” Eridan said somewhat quietly as he stood up. He walked out of the room without looking at the doctor again or the nurse waiting outside of the door, simply staring straight ahead. He was a soldier on a mission: any distraction, any moment of hesitation, any thought of doubt would cause him to lose the name of action. Instead of walking toward the exit, Eridan walked in the direction of the stairs that led to the roof of the building. The only one who had noticed the oddity of Eridan’s walking toward the exit to the roof was a young nurse, who immediately ran to the doctor that had treated the man. Being extremely alarmed, the elder man ran as fast as he could, hoping to catch up to the younger and more spry male.

                By the time the doctor reached the roof, Eridan was already standing on the edge, looking out at the surroundings of the hospital.  
                “Mr. Ampora, please come down from there,” the doctor begged, taking a cautious step toward Eridan. In response, the brunette turned, but did not step down from the where he was.   
                “Why should I?” he asked very bluntly.  
                “Think of everything you have. Your friends, your family, your job and coworkers, just think of how all of this is going to affect them.”  
                “For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, the oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely, the pangs of despised love, the law’s delay, the insolence of office and the spurns that patient merit of the unworthy takes when he himself might his quietus make with a bare bodkin?” Eridan recited.   
                Almost immediately delivering part of the famous soliloquy, Eridan looked up into the sky, starig at a figure that only he could see and saying to aloud, “Soft you now! Nymph, in thy orisons be all my sins remember’d,” before letting himself fall to the ground.

**Author's Note:**

> If you cannot tell, Eridan's last two lines are from Hamlet. Figured I should most definitely cite them to avoid plagiarism.


End file.
